Zoe


19


Pansexual


Animals = <3


Taken by my best friend


Vegetarian


Piercing apprentice


Obsessed with modifications

rainbowbarnacle:

roachpatrol:

samlikesboys:

All of the orgasms in fic are so violent. His orgasm came like a punch to the gut. It hit him like a mack truck. It knifed him in a fucking alley. What these orgasms need is a good education.

the orgasm tapped him on the shoulder politely because it wasn’t raised in a goddamn barn

By the time he came back to himself, the orgasm had washed the dishes, vacuumed the living room, and retrieved his lost house key from under the chaise lounge.

15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance

yestermorning:

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•••

Wait, wait, wait, I have an amazing new idea. How about we fix the American school system.

thatfunnyblog:

Why aren’t we talking about Dylan sprouse have you SEEN his tweets?


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GUYS SERIOUSLY 
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G U Y S
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"Girls are not machines that you put kindness into until sex falls out.”
— Porphyria R’lyeh (via mofobian)

prmartyls:

By far the stupidest criticism of the new Thor is ‘no where in Norse mythology is Thor a woman, stop messing with mythology.’

Right, because Norse mythology is just fucking filled with stories about Thor hanging out with Iron Man and Captain America at the Avengers Tower.

andrewpauldost:

i want dogs to be allowed at more places and i want children under 6 to not be

Warning Major Spoiler!

onesentencemusings:

bagelr:

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Moment of silence for all the people who will never see this joke because they blocked the word ‘Spoiler’.

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